- my moments with music` ]] ~~

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Serendipity, serendipity, serendipity!

Hardly have the inspiration these days, just like taking a vacation.
Having too much of empty days made me craved for much of thrills to set me cracking my rusty brain, working out my senses and triggering my emotions. Here I go, set me out for writing meaningless (or so?) blog entry.

I learn so much today because I have this honor to meet the girls.
At the same time, I know about my weakness and what I can improve in it.(so that’s y I took special carefulness in double check my grammer in this entry)
At the same time, I know my strength and how I can hang this out for sales.
It's always a self- realization process every time I attend this sort of gathering.
Everybody is so unique that only that person can offer something that no one can give.

‘At least I believe that if I want to do something, cross your finger to do it until you get it.
If u want to do something, deep inside your heart u have already believe that you know u have something that u can really offer to that something you want to do.
That's why you have gathered your courage to begin that first step.’

Zita (one of the girls) said something like this afternoon and I almost burst into tears (can u imagine the emotion moment?).
I know why she can really touch the girl’s heart.

I see girls hugging each others and say “You have inspired me! You are my best friend!”
How other girls changes other people‘s life and how wonderful the personality of others inspired the others. How just 2 days of getting together doing something meaningful and going though experiences of personal discovery. It has far exceeded the purpose of only getting the goals.
Suddenly, the ‘goal’ has only a space of ‘just a bonus’ in our heart.
It is again reinforces the meaning of “Life is about its journey, not the goal.”

A door closed means a lot of other doors open for you. The others doors are the doors of better things in stored for you ….waiting for you to open. Fate teaches us not to be stubborn. Maybe believing in fate will lead to a happier life for some objective in life. Sometimes believe in fate, sometimes not … is a wiser thinking. Isn’t it?

Only taking negative critics to positive changes makes you become a better person is a fact that will never change.
Finally, I know what I can improve in. The step toward perfection is a never ending process.
I had also learnt about self discipline and the driven inside me.
There’s laziness in me, in contradiction, there’s bee buzzing in me. There’s a “can’t be bothered” in me. Contrary, there’s a concern of importance in me. There’s an ugly duckling in me in another hand, there’s a beautiful swan in me.

I’m surprised in the fact that I had tried almost all method, doing my best, in the flavor to try to achieve something that I find nil importance to.

Ahhhh… that’s kiasulism….

And ..in the end , doing stupid thing , which is within my control but just do it in the sense of ruining the hard work I have done.

Ahhhh.. I am a mischievous miserable little rebel.

Occasionally, adding some sort of gimmick and specialty in a spread of commonly boring – out of my usual serenity.
This is not a sham, sham am I not?

It is strange in the way that initially it is just a following of what people wants and for fun. (Peer influence?) Later on, it is for untamed passion readily to be driven by the passion of other people. Lastly, I am convinced that it is not a fun thing nor a dream nor a pride; it is a reality waiting to be fulfilled.

I see, aries is a object of flirtatious? Finding a pleasant thrill in trapping under dilemma?
I guess there is no dilemma anymore coz ‘sand sand sea scenery’ here I go.

Been though of what is it, what is all about. Cite this “Been there, done that” on what others want of what I‘ve been though of what is it.

What’s the big deal .. kiasi la

To prevent the kiasu mentality overcome me, let me remind myself

It is the journey not the goal
It is the friendship not the goal
It is what I learnt not the goal
It is how I deal myself it is not the goal
It is dealing the biggest enemy- me, myself and I, not the goal
It is about been touched by others again, not the goal
It is about feel driven again not the goal
Etc etc

Voila! It is neither the goal, nor passion, nor friendship, nor learning, nor self discovery, nor the money, nor anything. IT IS THE KIASULISM! The spirit of SinGAPorean full of pride and ego! Bingo !

Hehe I can go on and on and on … better stop

Hmmm, we girls are planning an outing … we will be meeting soon !

Anonymous scribbled this at 4:55 AM...